Psychological barriers to weightloss

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    • Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Hi everyone,

      As I prepare to begin my weight loss battle on BT in the next few days, I've been thinking about the reasons why I have failed with diets before and why this time should be different.

      I have about 50kg to lose, I'm too scared to even jump on the scales right now so I can only give you an estimate at this stage. That's the sad part of being obese, is that to acknowledge the fact that you either lose weight or die, you have to shock your mind into accepting that you are morbidly obese to begin with.

      To me, I seem perfectly fine even though I know I'm not even by any stretch of the imagination! I know that it's not right to weigh 130km (approx) and struggle finding clothes and huff and puff up one set of stairs. I know that, we all know that.

      So my problem is: how to I psychologically prepare for weight loss? How do I keep the momentum going once I start? I know what I need to do physically, I know what I should eat and what I should not eat, but that's just one part of the battle.

      My main fight is not with food but with my head! I tried BT once before and did quite well on the 3 day detox, slight headache and a feeling a bit lethargic, but otherwise fine.

      I then transitioned to the second phase and did really well for a few days and then totally fell off the wagon.

      Food is just as addictive as drugs/alcohol/ciggarettes are although when you see a food addict, they are a lot more recognisable that someone who may have a problem with alcohol or drugs...generally speaking! I don't feel myself when I am not allowed to eat as I normally do and I actually feel like a part of me just died when I realise I've just had my protein snack and that's it for the next 3 hours!

      I'm really at my wits end on about what to do, I know that I do not want to be this size for the rest of my short life (which will be the case if I don't do something about it). :(

      I think I'm just too mentally weak to even help myself sometimes, I simply don't know what to do.

      Has anyone else experienced the same dilemma and how did you manage to deal with it?

      The post was edited 2 times, last by MelbGirl08: Typo ().

    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Hey melbgirl,

      I hear you I LOVE FOOD, cooking, baking reading about it it is a passion of mine so is really hard and yes an addiction it makes me feel good. I am wondering though when the weight comes off will I enjoy the new me more than food?? Going shopping and trying new clothes and being really happy with what I see instead of wondering how did this happen. It is something I am going to give a go, I have set myself rewards like massage, facial ect whe I reach goals so I hope it helps! But I do believe in moderation so haveing a free day to eat your fave things if you want is great.

      You can do it!! you have nothing to loose but the weight by giving it a go, just take it one day at a time and if you fall of the wagon so what just dust yourself off and try again :)

      Good luck.
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Wow, that was like reading about myself! My mum is quite a large woman and has always had an addictive relationship with food, which she has since passed on to her daughters (me included). My awakening moment was that we went away on the weekend with some friends and she was so miserable about her weight the whole time and complaining about her size that it ruined the whole weekend, and yet she wouldnt stop eating, even while saying how miserable she was!! It was an eye opener for myself and my sisters as we dont want to be like that in 20-30 years time and my sisters dont want to pass this horrible relationship with food onto their daughters. So I jumped on POH and discovered an article

      proteinpower.com/drmike/statin…-garden-of-self-loathing/

      I sent the link to my mum and my sisters and my mum is now on her 3rd day of BT detox and both my sisters have joined the gym and we are all motivated to lose at least 10kg by christmas. For anyone who hasnt read that blog please do, especially if you have children and grandchildren and struggle with motivation.

      Hope it helps someone else!!
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Thank you both, bubblybee and 3day :)

      I'm glad someone else has the same issue here, I think the psychological part of weightloss goes unnoticed by many diets out there - I did WW years ago and all we did was basically bitch and moan about how we wish we would eat that and how others struggled with counting points and blah, blah. I'm sitting there, meanwhile, thinking: Well that's part of the problem, you're denying yourself the food you're used to and of course you're struggling!

      As I progressed further with WW, I found that they did not provide the answers/solutions to my questions regarding food addiction. Let's face it, none of us would have been there if we didn't have a degree of addiction to food in the first place.

      BT does a lot more in the new system in terms of motivation, one of the DVD's features some great motivational tools, but none which seem to resonate with me. If everyone had their moment of truth, where the bleep is my OFF switch then? Why can't my brain tell ME to stop stuffing my face? I keep thinking surely, there is something wrong with me, otherwise I would not be doing this to myself.

      Thank you for the link also, 3day - I am glad for any help I can get before I start.
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Wow 3day, What a great article to read and give MelbGirl a boost in her confidence.

      Welcome Melbgirl

      I really felt for you reading your post. Maybe you should start a diary so when your feeling low we can all jump online and pick you back up.
      If its possible remove the temptations from the house. You cant eat it if its not there!

      I think the thing to remember is NONE of us are perfect. We all slip up but there is 7 days in a week and having a slip up on one day does not cancel out the other 6 days that you stuck to the plan. (does that make since)

      If you fall off the bike.....get straight back on! You know what I mean?

      Good Luck with your Bodytrim.
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Hi Melbgirl,

      I have a problem with depression and self worth and don't think I'm worth the effort :mad: (sounds pathetic, I know, but it's real). That's what makes me suddenly change from absolute commitment to absolute sabotage :o. I try everything I can think of to change my truth but nothing has worked so far.

      So, every time I crash and burn I get up and try again :p. I have to, what is the option? Doesn't bear thinking about.

      Good luck on your weightloss journey. Low carb is the way to go for me cause it stops all the carb cravings I have so at least I don't have all the mood swings I usually have (I sound like a right nutter, don't I). :D

      Love
      Choccie
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Melbgirl, we are all human, we all fall off. What people have said is right, the important thing is to get back up and catch up the the wagon and jump right back on again.

      Living low carb isn't about being a saint, or a martyr. It's about living a lifestyle that allows you to eat a lot of wonderful healthy foods that still taste fantastic (instead of living on rabbit food and being constantly hungry).

      You are however not alone, so many of us struggle with worth and motivation and self image. Keep in mind we are a LOT harsher on ourselves than other people are on us. Give yourself a bit of a break, pat yourself on the back for doing something about your weight.

      A diary is a great idea, so many people will support you and give you feedback and ideas. It really helps.

      I also think it's important in any lifestyle change to look at your triggers that are going to punt you off the wagon. So if it's comfort food you crave when you are down, work out what that is and look for some substitutes. If it's that you let yourself get hungry and then eat whatever is on hand, make sure you have good low carb food on hand at any time, know what you can make quickly etc. Delve into yourself and look at why.

      I think the biggest issue people struggle with is this. If you go on a "diet" and lose weight that's fantastic, but keeping it off is a big thing. So it is absolutely about some serious life changes. There are simply things I know cannot be regular parts of my life (eating pasta etc), as these are the exact things that got me over 100kg's in the first place. Find things you enjoy and eat those.

      It's a bit like life. I look at life and say ok, what do I enjoy doing? I'll do more of that! I try to do the same with food, what do I enjoy eating that is good for me? (I make sure I enjoy what I eat because I don't want my food choices to be a chore)

      I'm tempted to say Good Luck here, but that sounds wrong, as it's not luck. It's planning and strength and belief in yourself. These are not easy things at times I grant you.

      So I will simply say - we are here for you. Lean on us, as we will lean on you.
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      The biggest impact on your brain chemistry is what you put in your mouth.

      So, being mindful of how you feel after you eat is important. Being open and conscious of the mind/body connection.

      For example, if you got drunk on booze, is that psychological? No. That is biochemical. That is a super carb (alcohol) poisoning your brain chemistry temporarily.

      Carb Food is much the same way.

      For me, I need to eat more fat, as this helps me stay sane.
      I'm not aware of BT, so I'm only talking from the Atkins perspective.

      But for me, the biggest mood affecting thing is food/drink.
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Choccie Lover wrote:

      Hi Melbgirl,

      I have a problem with depression and self worth and don't think I'm worth the effort :mad: (sounds pathetic, I know, but it's real). That's what makes me suddenly change from absolute commitment to absolute sabotage :o. I try everything I can think of to change my truth but nothing has worked so far.

      So, every time I crash and burn I get up and try again :p. I have to, what is the option? Doesn't bear thinking about.

      Good luck on your weightloss journey. Low carb is the way to go for me cause it stops all the carb cravings I have so at least I don't have all the mood swings I usually have (I sound like a right nutter, don't I). :D

      Love
      Choccie


      Hi Choccie

      Thank you for your post :) I know this is probably something you have heard before, but you are definitely worth the effort.

      I think as overweight people, we are constantly subjected to the ideals that society thinks is right...media and TV, movies, magazines all contribute to the idea that skinny is beautiful and only skinny girls get the boys, etc. I certainly used to hate myself when I saw pics of size 0 women in magazines etc and that's why I have stopped buying them. I no longer give them the permission to make me feel like crap - and neither should you.

      I have heard good things about depression and low carb - in a sense that it actually improves people's mood and their medication is therefore reduced. I'm pretty sure that the medication you take for depression also contributes to weight gain, but like you said, low carb is the way to go. Hang in there and we can encourage one another. :)
      Starting over!

      Using mini goals:

      1st Goal: 140.0 kg

      [Blocked Image: http://swlf.lilyslim.com/N9CDp11.png]

      "A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit".

      "If hunger is not the problem, then eating is NOT the solution".
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Rania wrote:

      Melbgirl, we are all human, we all fall off. What people have said is right, the important thing is to get back up and catch up the the wagon and jump right back on again.

      Living low carb isn't about being a saint, or a martyr. It's about living a lifestyle that allows you to eat a lot of wonderful healthy foods that still taste fantastic (instead of living on rabbit food and being constantly hungry).

      You are however not alone, so many of us struggle with worth and motivation and self image. Keep in mind we are a LOT harsher on ourselves than other people are on us. Give yourself a bit of a break, pat yourself on the back for doing something about your weight.

      A diary is a great idea, so many people will support you and give you feedback and ideas. It really helps.

      I also think it's important in any lifestyle change to look at your triggers that are going to punt you off the wagon. So if it's comfort food you crave when you are down, work out what that is and look for some substitutes. If it's that you let yourself get hungry and then eat whatever is on hand, make sure you have good low carb food on hand at any time, know what you can make quickly etc. Delve into yourself and look at why.

      I think the biggest issue people struggle with is this. If you go on a "diet" and lose weight that's fantastic, but keeping it off is a big thing. So it is absolutely about some serious life changes. There are simply things I know cannot be regular parts of my life (eating pasta etc), as these are the exact things that got me over 100kg's in the first place. Find things you enjoy and eat those.

      It's a bit like life. I look at life and say ok, what do I enjoy doing? I'll do more of that! I try to do the same with food, what do I enjoy eating that is good for me? (I make sure I enjoy what I eat because I don't want my food choices to be a chore)

      I'm tempted to say Good Luck here, but that sounds wrong, as it's not luck. It's planning and strength and belief in yourself. These are not easy things at times I grant you.

      So I will simply say - we are here for you. Lean on us, as we will lean on you.


      Hi Rania, thank you so much for your post :) It's beautiful.

      I'm definitely an emotional eater, any type of emotion has the potential to set me off. Whether I'm happy or sad...I always turn to food but I know that's not the solution...in fact, I'm living proof that it's NOT the solution. I can't eat away my problems by stuffing my face with food, I have come to realise that. I think I hold a lot of emotional baggage in my fat...if that makes sense...perhaps by shedding the weight, I can also let go emotionally of whatever I think is bothering me, low self esteem and self loathing.

      A friend once told me that we gain weight because we want to protect ourselves, and since we feel vulnerabe emotionally, we stack on the fat as a protective barrier.

      This forum and members like yourself has been invaluable to me, I see other people's progress and their ups and downs and it helps me see that I can do this, with a bit of effort and being kind to myself, I can slowly make small changes that bring about big results.

      Thank you all :D
      Starting over!

      Using mini goals:

      1st Goal: 140.0 kg

      [Blocked Image: http://swlf.lilyslim.com/N9CDp11.png]

      "A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit".

      "If hunger is not the problem, then eating is NOT the solution".
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      I'm glad you found it helpful. It's sometimes easy to think you are the only one who struggles, but we are right there with you :)

      I think the thing to also remember is ... you are already doing it! Look at your starting weight, you are over 5kg's lighter than you were when you first started this process Melbgirl. So anytime you start thinking it's too hard or that you can't do it, remind yourself that you already have! If you can lose 5, you can lose 25, or 50!

      It's a really interesting thing to try to work out why we put on weight in the first place, obviously the answer is generally food, but why oh why did we eat more than we need? Why did we keep eating after we were full? I have been a shocker at that my whole life. Always eating more because oh my god what? There might be a holocaust tomorrow? Yes not likely right, so why. I'd love to say I have this all worked out but I don't :) The chances are there is not one reason we over eat, or eat the wrong things. We are complex beings and no doubt the reasons are made up of a little from column a and a little from column b.
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      MelbGirl08--Know what you mean about WW. My sister and her daughter have lost amazing amounts of weight , while mine has stayed the same, which is why l'm trying BT instead. l definately have an addictive personality, and food is one of the addictions. l once bought 18 jam donuts that were on special, and ate them all in 2 days! Found myself eating them even though l knew l wasn't hungry--couldn't stop!
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Hi Patience

      I've been there, done that - especially when it comes to binging on food, your 18 jam donuts is tame compared to my cheesecake binges...I used to be able to buy a whole cheesecake from the Cheesecake Shop and have it finished over the course of one weekend!

      I think our mental state poses the biggest challenge to weight loss and it's something I have struggled with forever. I've even considered NLP and hypnosis and all sorts of things, but ultimately, they may be a quick fix to a long existing problem and possibly a waste of money.

      I enquired once about NLP at my local health clinic, and from memory the first session was a massive $350.00. Wasn't in a hurry to part with that sort of cash!
      Starting over!

      Using mini goals:

      1st Goal: 140.0 kg

      [Blocked Image: http://swlf.lilyslim.com/N9CDp11.png]

      "A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit".

      "If hunger is not the problem, then eating is NOT the solution".
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      hehe when I was a teenager I used to like those packet cheesecake mixes you used to buy. What you would get is a crumb base, a cheese base and then this jelly you would set over the top. I used to make this particular one, might have been apricot or tropical flavour (so long ago but apricot keeps springing to mind) and on top of the cheese layer I would put slices of banana over the top and then set the jelly.

      Anyway I loved this so much that one particular day I ate the entire cheesecake, for what ever reason I just couldn't stop until it was all gone (I wasn't overweight by the way, I would've been 40 something kg). Then came the horrible part. I almost immediately started vomiting but the worst bit was it was coming out in big claggy thick balls of cream cheese, I couldn't breathe and felt like I was going to choke. This went on for what seemed forever!

      Needless to say, I never touched a cheesecake again for many years and I certainly will never ever binge on one again!
      Low Carb in a Nutshell ~ Carb Counts ~ Research ~ Measurements/Conversions ~ Glossary


      Let me know if you think of anything else handy from the site to put here.
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Hi Sherrie

      I think you inadvertedly treated yourself to a form of "aversion therapy" as far as cheesecake goes!

      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aversion_therapy

      If only it could be applied to carbs as well!
      Starting over!

      Using mini goals:

      1st Goal: 140.0 kg

      [Blocked Image: http://swlf.lilyslim.com/N9CDp11.png]

      "A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit".

      "If hunger is not the problem, then eating is NOT the solution".
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Choccie Lover wrote:

      Hi Melbgirl,

      I have a problem with depression and self worth and don't think I'm worth the effort :mad: (sounds pathetic, I know, but it's real). That's what makes me suddenly change from absolute commitment to absolute sabotage :o. I try everything I can think of to change my truth but nothing has worked so far.

      So, every time I crash and burn I get up and try again :p. I have to, what is the option? Doesn't bear thinking about.

      Good luck on your weightloss journey. Low carb is the way to go for me cause it stops all the carb cravings I have so at least I don't have all the mood swings I usually have (I sound like a right nutter, don't I). :D

      Love
      Choccie


      Hi Choccie,

      Reading your post my heart skipped a beat.

      Not that I am happy you feel this way AT ALL but it is good to know I am not alone in feeling this way!

      “Today I take 100% responsibility for my life. I control my actions, thoughts, reactions and feelings!”

      >><> the incredible shrinking Cherie

      [Blocked Image:
      http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/w0KA2BG/weight.png]
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Hi Scubagoddess,

      Thanks for your kind words.

      At the moment I'm struggling BIG time. Back to square one. Put all my weight back on in the last two weeks :mad:. Can't stop eating rubbish yet again. It's making me very, very sad, which in turn makes me eat more rubbish. And so the cycle goes.....

      I know I will get back on the wagon eventually, I just hope the damage isn't too bad.:o

      Hope you are well.
      Alison
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Many of us have these sort of issues. I have always thought I was never quite good enough due to my mother favouring my older sister. But hey, that's life all over and I finally got over it when I met my partner who is always telling me how wonderful I am. I do still think the man needs glasses but hey!, I'm not complaining.

      The trick is not to let one slip turn into a binge, cut it short and get back on with the diet. You can do it, you are responsible for what goes in your mouth. Just climb back up and take control. Low carb is proven to be good for depression so you will enjoy a benefit if you stick to it.
      Odille -
      following Primal Lifestyle

      Low fat is so last century!
    • Re: Psychological barriers to weightloss

      Choccie Lover wrote:

      Hi Scubagoddess,

      Thanks for your kind words.

      At the moment I'm struggling BIG time. Back to square one. Put all my weight back on in the last two weeks :mad:. Can't stop eating rubbish yet again. It's making me very, very sad, which in turn makes me eat more rubbish. And so the cycle goes.....

      I know I will get back on the wagon eventually, I just hope the damage isn't too bad.:o

      Hope you are well.
      Alison

      You and me both! Lost weight earlier in the year on BT, then went for a holiday and haven't been able to get back on track since. I know l use food like a baby's dummy--when l'm sad, depressed, lonely and angry, it soothes me! Why do we do it? l always hate myself after, even while l'm shoving in jam donuts, one after the other, l'm beating myself up at the same time. Where's my motivation gone? l think l'm addicted to sweets and it's going to take a life time to get over!